It turns out that "When the cows come home" is just an expression that literally means "the day after never." I looked it up on Wikipedia. So I guess that means that Momma ain't never gonna buy me that watergun. Why didn't she just come right out and say "I'll buy you your stinkin' water gun the day after never!" That's something I coulda understood.
My friend Carmichael says that mommas are deceptive that way. It's something they do on purpose 'cause they like to watch kids suffer. I aint so sure about that. I think my momma just assumed I'd know the meaning of the expression. She musta forgot that I got a D-minus in history.
I told Scarf-apron (that's what we call Carmichael) to speak for his own momma, and leave mine be. He told me to suck a lollipop. With friends like him, why do I even need to have friends?
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